Showing posts with label soul. Show all posts
Showing posts with label soul. Show all posts

Sunday, 28 July 2013

Miss Scorpio

She loves and loves but is not loved. For she is barren of the fertile fields to grow a child. All she wanted was to be allowed to love. But we always strive to do what is forbidden. And here it is: the rotten fruit of impoverished love.

The sky was black as charcoal pits, dusted with speckled stars
Ashen grey surrounds the land
Smothered with burning flowers.

The time when clouds shrivel away
When the Sun makes her bed
At the end of the day –

The Moon himself appears with Hope,
Of meeting his Love
Who sets the distant pole -

Where their love can never be found
For distance - darkness forbid it
And they are not Fated to be bound.

The time when Light-time creatures stop;
And Night-time villains stir
And children drift, still in their beds, like sweet little corpses.

Now a twisted dark shadow creeps from her hollow home,
Uncurling her limbs, unfolding her bones,
Like spindly branches against the yellow Moon’s glow.

She gasps a worn breath –
For she is alone.
Miss Scorpio is always alone – even past death –

From the moment she burst forth from the fiery pits below
Forming a woman in thin, black dress with lace like a spider’s webs,
She was alone.

But oh, how she despises having nobody to care
Nobody to hold, nobody to tend to,
Leaving her an empty phantom, wretched, torn, bare.

Every day is hell, every second, misery;
Yet it is all made lighter by the Moon
Who shines over her fears and wishes, eagerly.

He is her ambient Hope.
The Light deep beneath her blackened spirit.
That can never escape the prison where she chokes.

The Moon too is lost in despair,
But shines brightly each dark night
In false Hope and care.

Miss Scorpio plucks a star from the glistening skies
Where stars shine like jewels, mockingly with their togetherness.
She smothers its brightness; in her frail arms it lies;

Momentarily, the brimstone in her core rekindles,
There is a quiescent crispness in the air
As she smiles, skips, glows like a candle

Not caring for her life that burns away
With each hour that passes,
For she has found something to love! Just for one day -


Until that star quickly fades, from white to orange, to dull brown
Then to black, like the two charred, bottomless holes in her sockets.
The heat cools, her trembling arms release the star, her face twists into a frown

Hot tears streak down her dirt-speckled cheek
Scarring her dark and beautiful features
With deep channels, now trickling red down to her feet.

Says she: ‘This pain is slight,
‘Compared with the jolt that forever thumps my core’.
Now, the black ball of dimpled rock takes flight

Down from her body, frozen, scored, wild
Leaving her numb Soul barren, untouched,
Having held that dimming star, cradled like a child.

But Hope is the fuel for any fire.
Miss Scorpio – Nature's Widow –
Never did her efforts to love expire:

Miss Scorpio once walked in the Midnight Meadow
Stopped, picked a flower from the dark fields of green,
Shaking it with joy, as the wind sped her on with each blow

And she ran through the grove
With this new Heart’s desire towards the rays of tomorrow.
For it is so beautiful to have something to love –

But soon, the nodding flower’s petals
Dropped out one by one, escaping her desperate clutches in the cold breeze
Leaving a grey stalk, bent like soft metal

Flying this way and that as they fell
In wispy circles, through dark clouds
Flying to another part of hell.

Miss Scorpio’s Soul bleeds
As her red tears slowly streak down her dark dress
Down like a deadly bullet surpassing time itself, as it speeds

Through a hard granite chest
Containing the Treasures of Life,
Repelled, ricocheted, is forced down to a grim death.


*
*
*

Miss Scorpio is still waiting for Life to start
For a fraction of joy, for a sign from above, –
As her dark Soul will never rest until it possesses a Heart.


 














Copyright © JRFB 2013

Saturday, 18 May 2013

Free - Love - Lost -

The words are relentless.
Facts devastate the Mourning's crop of New Love
Free - Love - Lost -
In different worlds you would be mine
Our hearts entwined together in time
And I would cherish your exquisite light
And I would kiss your violet rays
And hold you tight
And I would touch your inner soul
And raise your heart to the highest point -

I will love you everyday
Absorb your soul in every way

I will keep you mine in love
Like the tawny lioness holds her cubs
So you will remain to me -
A secret love, only for me to see




Copyright © JRFB 2013

Thursday, 28 February 2013

Missing

My heart is chafing, shaking with
      blood
tinged by ardent desires;
My soul is crying for your touch as you briskly
Part from me -

Two Souls,  two incomplete
fragments can
Never
Splice - together -
The fusion is irrepable
despite the grinding of my bones;
the melting of my heart -

(we will never weld together)

Gold and grey are clashing titans;
The Sea and Sky are forever apart.

Looking down, my glisting brown eyes
feel your light, feel your life

Beaming, teasing, being
in My world of shaded hearts:

    but I will never reach you.

The plunge is deep -






Copyright © JRFB 2013

Saturday, 27 October 2012

Skydark




The clouds painted with hints of heaven cast deep, sinister shadows on the beating surf below, slapping at the rocks with the aquatic wrath of a god. The soft arms of nirvana, where glinting gates of gold peep out, allow the Sky god to offer himself as a host, and to dramatize the celestial love from above. The ridges of the nebulae turn from blue to pink as the Sun closes her weary eyes and drifts along to the edge of darkness, shepherding oranges and reds into her sacred field of sleep.

 As my dark pools are torn from the fantastic realm above, I see fields of rusted fronds fluttering in the wind. Strands of cobwebbed hair determined to distract my vision cannot mar this delight: the silver spray from the waves; the pink bonfire of beaming divinity; the teasing light from across the bay. The latter entices my interests with its bitter brightness – a sparkling jewel amongst the lurid colours of sunset. My heart urges me to edge nearer to this furtive radiance and so my legs amble over rocks encrusted with crackling salt crystals, and spiked grasses bleached blue by the Earth’s malice, until the night engulfs my clouded mind and the swirls hanging above.

Chills lace my body as dribbles of icy water seep into my sink; the light draws me closer still. I find myself at the end of the shore.

Before me – nothing but the dark perils of a wintry sea, behind me – the echoes of rusted tufts of deathly shrubs, melting and fragmenting into the curling wind. Below, the hungry waves kiss my feet, waiting for the final plunge; above, the light screams for me, bellowing my name.

The yellow glare penetrates my shivering bones, extracting my soul, my will. So brilliant, so intense – I must join you at the core. My essence, slipped from my hollow shell skips from the shore onto each swirling wave, like the gold flecks from the fountain above, dancing in the bubbling sea.

*

Closer and closer our hearts collide. I release a howl, you discharge a sigh. The rain ceases; the wind croaks; our spirit surges; we are one.






















Copyright © JRFB 2012 

Monday, 1 October 2012

Loving Through Lies

"What use is there in saying 'I love you' when almost instantly preceding this I think,      'I despise you. Burn'?

For you and I, there is no distinction. Whatever is conjured within my torn soul - shredded by your malice - punctures my enflamed heart, now swollen from your toxins. It is no use resisting, for you return, uninvited - a phantasm gently reaching for my spine, splicing my soul from within.

Freezing fires kill me; revive me; hold me.
Screaming with echoes of euphoric horror as I 
watch your scythe draw near.

My lungs, drowning in your cruelty, draw no air,

My breath evaporates - my blood dies - 
Eyes remain - petrified, molten:

'I mean no harm, I have come to love you'.

Every    

             word    
                           scolds      
each twisted hair on my corpse
scratching deep into my soul.

Air abandons me;

- I do not blame you -
now the fires steam as they
die
All that remains is my broken soul
                                                        - it reeks of death
scathed, black, putrid 

                                     by your simple touch -




Let me out. Don't come back to me, you keep me from my dreams. I do not want you; Love does not want you.

 But love cannot simply be brushed onto empty pages".








Copyright © JRFB 2012 

Wednesday, 12 September 2012

The Storm

Your words unspoken have drained
me - soaked me
with remorse and hatred of
those things left to melt away;
fade; drip; through a meaningless
pool of regret.

Seeing into your soul so clearly -a tumultuous river
relentlessly blaming its watery veins - striving to be understood -
appreciated - loved -

My heart quakes. My petrified soul allegedly withstood the pain;
now
the sharp pangs of Chaos pulsate through my mind
torn, ripping,
extracting
every detail - into the maelstrom unleashed.

Distress is my companion -
Anarchy, my aid -

You, however remain
a dull cave
                   of guilt:
Strangely, the artery proceeding

my dying    soul is here; etched,  carved in
lies
within You, my Saviour.



Copyright © JRFB 2012

Saturday, 18 August 2012

I'm still learning.

THIS SUMMER has been hopeless in terms of enhancing my academic skills, but I think now with August coming to a close, and the warm colours and autumnal shades of September falling upon us, I am one step closer to "finding myself".

A friend and I set this task as our number one priority this summer - and I think I may have (somehow) unconsciously accomplished this. Although I have been intoxicated for a good 4 weeks and I must have drunk about ten times my body weight in alcoholic beverages (spirits to let my spirits soar), I think that over the past few months I have learnt a thing or two...

This summer I realise that I am more comfortable and confident as a person. I'm not quite there yet, but I'm trying to live as I am and not as someone may think I should live.

I'm odd, but not a misfit but when caged up with tame canaries, I become the wild finch: solitary, outcast, frozen in apprehension. I like to form my own opinions about entities in life, and not to have my mind poisoned before being given a chance to speculate. What good is it to be human, to possess free will, only to have that privilege oppressed, wasted?

To be short, I am Jaguar: nothing more, nothing less. I believe that true identity lies deep within the soul; I was born to grow into myself, not into this person or that person; what good is it to try and 'guide' someone through life when in reality this only results in a twisted map and a desolate soul?





Copyright © JRFB 2012



Thursday, 9 August 2012

Mirror

The swirling, circling shrouds of smokey death
pervade the specks of mystery surrounding this abyss -
Bottomless
                 Soulless
                              Gloom.

Twisting and writhing, the central orbs turn serenely:
a children's carousel
Reversed -
               Decelerated -
                                   Perpetual -

When I see them, fear clots in my blood
Fear of being lost.
Fear of dying
Fear of denying all chances of bliss to myself.

Two dark pools of hell stare through
my vanquished soul
My own deep wells shrink in horror.


I am lost -




Copyright © JRFB 2012

Tuesday, 12 June 2012

Home.




She came home last week. Her soul, delayed for six years, dragged back here by her weary, wandering, impoverished feet having already deserted their own helpless body; floating aimlessly in the abyss of day dreams and night time terrors, she landed here, on sandy shores, sprinkled with prickled bushes and beach shrubs..


Her body, though encrusted with seaweed and bitter brine from the waters, glimmers like the crystals of water running free down her body, as if they were enjoying their freedom for the dark sea. She is not shipwrecked, nor lost, nor washed ashore on some heavenly bay of the gods, she is home; but she is unaware of how much significance the lapping waves, tainted by milky white tips have.


The sun is up high, it must be nearing midday, but nothing of time or reality can really be felt, only the ecstatic giggling of waves as they gently glide down on the hard, cool sand, before softly retreating home, back into Neptune's cave. Those sparkling waters, the serenity, yet brutality of the waves, the high sun's rays brightening everything in sight; it was all so sublime, so exquisite. Despite her awe of the enticing landscape, Cherry failed to notice the way the Wind, mindful and gentle, charmingly motored a light breeze mirroring how a mighty hand might nudge someone on their way from the sloping hard sand onto the paler, more inviting grains with gentle caresses of his invisible forces. Cherry, on reaching the top of the slope, faintly collapsed in the way that weary bodies keel over after utter exhaustion. The chalky sand began gently soothing her grubby feet, prickled and pinched bythe dune plants which peeped among the fragments of the warm silk beneath her. Cushioning her raw soles, Cherry could not help but allow the delightful massages from the rippling grains and softkisses from the sun to overcome her, and soon those soporific lids yielded to the warm breezes.


A deep mist invaded her psyche, objecting light's admittance into the corridors of her brain. Her eyes flicker from empty room to empty room. Her legs mechanically run, never conquered by fatigue, but fueled by horror. Her chest pulses rapidly. However, like a grandfather clock being launched out a five story window, no time at all seems to pass whilst she darts around the empty chambers, frantic, searching, lost in her own mind; on her own soil.

A tumultuous clap of thunderclouds shakes her from the internal darkness of her mind, but now the hellish gloom pervades reality. The rain beats down. The sand is ripped apart. The grains which were once as soft as velvet are flung up and hammer into the concrete ground. All forces focus on their victim: vicious and merciless, the razor-shards of sand tear at Cherry's salty arms and back as she leaves them exposes having recoiled into a less vulnerable position. She cries out a devastating scream when the relentless stony jabbing now draws blood on her shoulders, but her shouts for mercy do not seem to inspire any sympathy on those who control the weather. Weak, dehydrated and now with her body covered in blood and sand, Cherry seeks refuge by slowly, but productively heaving herself back into the monstrosity that brought her to this doom in the beginning: the Ocean.


Never in her life had anything been as refreshing than the instant Cherry dived into the stirring waves. The violence above the surface softened abruptly and an air of tranquility arose. Cherry descended deeper and deeper into her liquid garrison of still numbness, frantically trying to shake the raucous sound of the splattering pebbles of rain. With her eyes shut and her breath held, she waited. The mist was seeping back into her thoughts; that awful darkness. But the storm, the precipitation, it would rip her limb from limb, shredding her bones, heart and body; she must remain under the refuge of the compassionate sea. The oxygen gathered when inland was depleting, Cherry thought that if she did not surface now her body may collapse and just one sharp intake of salt water may drown her lungs and destroy her. Yet the rain was like icicles plummeting from the dark sky, shivering, waiting to kill. Either way, Cherry was against some force of nature (the Water offered only temperamental relief, she was not expected to stay under forever).

With the light fading, and her head soaring away from consciousness, away from survival, Cherry dragged her now weighty arms through the thick water towards what she believed to be ultimate death directly above her.

The water parted for her struggling head and neck when she came up, vehemently spluttering and coughing out the significant volume of water which had begun to pervade her organs during her dive. Her eyes, kept shut due to the brine burned when she pried them open; the light trickled down from the heavenly sky.

She opened them wide. The rain had stopped. There was the high Sun, smiling, coaxing, as if it had never experienced a storm in its entire existence. The sand hugged onto her body, as if each grain had absorbed the golden elation emitted from the inviting rays of the Sun and wanted to share their joy.

Cherry Reason, perched knee deep in the shallow, lukewarm water scanned the shore: the glowing sand, the deep greens and purples of the vegetation on the banks, the smooth, crystalline sky, free from any clouds.

Here she sat; she is Home.

Copyright © JRFB 2012







Tuesday, 5 June 2012

Life: an entity we can all enjoy



Life is something precious. I feel that we sometimes forget this, overlook it,or focus solely on what isn't going right. Life can be guided and misguided; shaped and re-shaped; lit up and distinguished. My Life is something which I have learnt to value very much. Although I am fortunate enough to have never experienced a mishap which would alter my way of living for the rest of my existence, it is this reason that I feel blessed to breathe the fresh breeze every day, to feel the pulse of the Earth under my toes.

 Of course there are those days where all rational thinking about the sanctity of Life is lost, and I much rather would stay enclosed, stuffed between the bed and the duvet, blocking the Sun and all other sources of vitality from my clouded mind. I have appropriately called them my 'Dark Days'. They occur approximately once a fortnight, and everything seems to crumble to lonesome, fragile dust and self-pity (and loathing). I seem to forget that this moment is fleeting and I will soon return to my headquarters of optimism, golden hope and a genuine adoration for the spiritual connection between Light and Life that I feel when everything is running smoothly.

Life is exquisite, differential, purposeful; but only if you allow it to be.

Every day, having been roused from the bed of dreams where my soul is allowed to explore beyond the 'limitations' of Life, I seek to discover an intention for my waking, a reason for my rupture of sweet slumbers. I discovered this: each day is different, therefore each day there is something different to live for.

I did not have to look far, for I did not even leave the house; gazing at the burning Sun, inhaling an air of light, darkness, joy and sorrow, I realised. The slight tittering and fluttering of morning birds, ecstatically soaring around the sky, seemed to burst into lurid colours: deep greens and browns surrounded the light, bursting like works of fires, shattering into burning shards of feathery glass. There; the smell of recently mowed grass, sharp and sweet like an exotic fruit juices invaded my nostrils, overcoming any doubt of whether to turn of the light and retreat back into sweet sleep. 

This beauty, this euphoria, these sensations which Life provokes within, surely make vitality Victor in this battle - a skirmish between dreams and reality day and night, light and death. Yet, on both sides, the adversaries seem to drift together, blurring any such boundaries between them. In short, there is no distinction. Life is what you want it to be; it may indeed be lived through Death, or Imagination or Midnight Hours.

Each day I try to perceive Life as something new, a Friend, a Lover, a Stranger - all are equally as satisfying a seach other. All are unique. 

I adore Life and its changeability.This is the beauty of Nature, of the Soul.












Copyright © JRFB 2012