I loved you today

I loved you today -

unlike yesterday

when your senselessness

clawed at my heart.

I loved you today -

not like the other days

for you showed me that you

cared.

I loved you today -

because although I could not see

you, I felt your heart

beat in time with mine.

I loved you today -

and I will until

the rays of tomorrow

pierce this fragile light 

as weightless as the winds of time-

and again, my heart, stifled, 

is choked,

chained

by your Love

Tonight.

Copyright © JRFB 2013

Missing

My heart is chafing, shaking with
      blood
tinged by ardent desires;
My soul is crying for your touch as you briskly
Part from me -

Two Souls,  two incomplete
fragments can
Never
Splice - together -
The fusion is irrepable
despite the grinding of my bones;
the melting of my heart -

(we will never weld together)

Gold and grey are clashing titans;
The Sea and Sky are forever apart.

Looking down, my glisting brown eyes
feel your light, feel your life

Beaming, teasing, being
in My world of shaded hearts:

    but I will never reach you.

The plunge is deep -






Copyright © JRFB 2013

Loving Through Lies

"What use is there in saying 'I love you' when almost instantly preceding this I think,      'I despise you. Burn'?

For you and I, there is no distinction. Whatever is conjured within my torn soul - shredded by your malice - punctures my enflamed heart, now swollen from your toxins. It is no use resisting, for you return, uninvited - a phantasm gently reaching for my spine, splicing my soul from within.

Freezing fires kill me; revive me; hold me.
Screaming with echoes of euphoric horror as I 
watch your scythe draw near.

My lungs, drowning in your cruelty, draw no air,
My breath evaporates - my blood dies - 
Eyes remain - petrified, molten:

'I mean no harm, I have come to love you'.

Every    
             word    
                           scolds      
each twisted hair on my corpse
scratching deep into my soul.

Air abandons me;
- I do not blame you -
now the fires steam as they
die
All that remains is my broken soul
                                                        - it reeks of death
scathed, black, putrid 

                                     by your simple touch -



Let me out. Don't come back to me, you keep me from my dreams. I do not want you; Love does not want you.

 But love cannot simply be brushed onto empty pages".








Copyright © JRFB 2012 

The Storm

Your words unspoken have drained
me - soaked me
with remorse and hatred of
those things left to melt away;
fade; drip; through a meaningless
pool of regret.

Seeing into your soul so clearly -a tumultuous river
relentlessly blaming its watery veins - striving to be understood -
appreciated - loved -

My heart quakes. My petrified soul allegedly withstood the pain;
now
the sharp pangs of Chaos pulsate through my mind
torn, ripping,
extracting
every detail - into the maelstrom unleashed.

Distress is my companion -
Anarchy, my aid -

You, however remain
a dull cave
                   of guilt:
Strangely, the artery proceeding

my dying    soul is here; etched,  carved in
lies
within You, my Saviour.



Copyright © JRFB 2012

distance

i wish you'd try to understand
although perhaps it is I who am incoherent
and You speak my own language more fluently.
i won't sleep soundly knowing that waves of trouble are rippling our glass bonds
only to shatter all dreams of perfection, cutting my heart with fate's cruel blade.
                                                 *
i'm too addicted to stop knowing You,
absence feels like death - vexing and always longing for the untouchable.
i can't watch this happen, we're even closer to the disaster -
perhaps everything is a mistake; a mistake so real, so rewarding, so worth the pain of

distance.


No, I won't let you go.


Copyright © JRFB 2012

The Chill

Good Gentleman, Good Lady, oh I wish that you could see – 

There’s sincere truth that comes with Civility, 

A certain charm lies in my heart 

Begging for yours to stay 

Until tomorrow, for just another day. 

Having parched my heart with burning scorn 

Drier still like the Sahel, the Corn 

Of my love cannot flourish, 

In an Empty garden – fruitless 

Are my efforts – unless collaborated with your prowess 

For your secret utterance so sweet 

Yet Devious, fell from the ivy tree 

Strangling your ability 

To love a soul (minus your own) 

Hearing the magnitude of the fall - 

For Hours I perched, alone; afraid

For your echoing Voice haunts me, above my grave

Slipping               out            and              in

Those weak and crumbling shelves of terror

Heavily Stowed away  – my mind is a Mirror

Crushed, shattered, splintered, broken –

Nothing can fill space left -  the words unspoken

Misery ubiquitous, hopelessness lost

The Frosty whispers chill

Our Flame, hardened, brittle – still.

Copyright © JRFB 2012

Walking In The Snow

.

These pale flecks of frosted emotion sting

my skin (bare) when I walk

with you.

A seething so sudden, that

at first, it is unnoticeable: purely snow.

Then Cold turns to cinders - turns to

Ash; scoring, cutting, infecting

my Body with your Curse

.

I blame the snow, but I should blame

You.

The numbness in my fingers

stings from your cold spite -

.

Yet I continue, persisting on our voyage across this icy road:

My heart, once again replenished with flaming desires - childish yet

visible; today, after your bitter touch

Falls to the ground... Cracking,

Splintering with an essence of you

.

The warm face of the sun, distant and rare

Shines no more -

Not in winter, at least, whilst

.

Walking in the snow
.

Copyright © JRFB 2012

You Can Never Be Mine

As you clasp my Heart it crumbles into

Nothing.

When I breathe in your beauty -

It chokes me inside;

Every time I leave you

it's like half of my Life has gone,

the flames of existence brutally diminished -

Ghosts of sorrow remain -

But I know I'll only hurt you.

Seeing what I have done to you

Breaks my Heart;

it was never my intention to see you

Fall -

Hearing the very words I dreaded; ones I made you speak

engulfs my parched Soul with seething ruin.

But eventually, I wish to be

Free

         of the horrifying Truth.

I know now that things may never be the same:

every time I see your Face

the wounds in my Heart sting

and your own Heart - splintered -

With my own Selfishness.

                      Self-forgiveness for how I've made you feel is

Unthinkable.

I would choose you over my own Dead body

Always - Love leads to ruin,

Friendship leads to yet more pain.

Because of Me, it now hurts us both

to look at one another.

Because of Me, our whole lives may be shattered

and rebuilt with missing and ill-fitting fragments. 

Because of Me, this agonizing cycle of love

            Will never end - 


Copyright © JRFB 2011