You Can Never Be Mine

As you clasp my Heart it crumbles into

Nothing.

When I breathe in your beauty -

It chokes me inside;

Every time I leave you

it's like half of my Life has gone,

the flames of existence brutally diminished -

Ghosts of sorrow remain -

But I know I'll only hurt you.

Seeing what I have done to you

Breaks my Heart;

it was never my intention to see you

Fall -

Hearing the very words I dreaded; ones I made you speak

engulfs my parched Soul with seething ruin.

But eventually, I wish to be

Free

         of the horrifying Truth.

I know now that things may never be the same:

every time I see your Face

the wounds in my Heart sting

and your own Heart - splintered -

With my own Selfishness.

                      Self-forgiveness for how I've made you feel is

Unthinkable.

I would choose you over my own Dead body

Always - Love leads to ruin,

Friendship leads to yet more pain.

Because of Me, it now hurts us both

to look at one another.

Because of Me, our whole lives may be shattered

and rebuilt with missing and ill-fitting fragments. 

Because of Me, this agonizing cycle of love

            Will never end - 


Copyright © JRFB 2011