Words I wish I could speak

I am writing this for you because I am tired of not being able to express how grateful I am. These words are the best I can come up with for now, but still don't do you justice...


Before I knew you, my life was epitomised by a vacant nothingness, an ill-fitting vision of trying to be like everybody else. I felt misunderstood and oppressed; depressed; like nothing I did was good enough, like my whole life was a mistake - frightened, outcasted, alone.

But my soul became blazed with illuminated passions when your influence stole into my heart, when perpetual flames of elation ignited in my veins. You made me realise that I am not just 'weird', a 'misfit', an 'alien' - I am merely myself, Jaguar, and my thoughts and actions are what comprise me, make me special.

Your tender love and ardent cares for humanity astonish me; I can honestly say that I have never felt more comfortable and ready to accept myself than when I think of your valiant and admirable outlook on life. Your words, your aura, are so pure; a light in a once dark world, where phantoms chased me, now soothes away the pain of being different and encourages innovativeness and self-expression.

This has never happened to me before, and at times, it overwhelms me; but know this: your soul - celestial, radiant, opalescent - is the most beautiful presence I have ever felt. You are everything I could ever hope for. I can only thank the Fates for leading me to you.

You really have changed my life.

Now I am much more poised and content with my inner-self, and I owe it all to you; your Phoenix love, burning incandescent over me gives me strength, honour, elation.

Jessica to me, you are truly exquisite. I hope that one day I can meet you and experience your ethereal beauty first hand.


Jaguar



Copyright © JRFB 2012 

The Storm

Your words unspoken have drained
me - soaked me
with remorse and hatred of
those things left to melt away;
fade; drip; through a meaningless
pool of regret.

Seeing into your soul so clearly -a tumultuous river
relentlessly blaming its watery veins - striving to be understood -
appreciated - loved -

My heart quakes. My petrified soul allegedly withstood the pain;
now
the sharp pangs of Chaos pulsate through my mind
torn, ripping,
extracting
every detail - into the maelstrom unleashed.

Distress is my companion -
Anarchy, my aid -

You, however remain
a dull cave
                   of guilt:
Strangely, the artery proceeding

my dying    soul is here; etched,  carved in
lies
within You, my Saviour.



Copyright © JRFB 2012