Showing posts with label humour. Show all posts
Showing posts with label humour. Show all posts

Tuesday, 22 April 2014

Socks On (One Night Stand Sonnet)

Ever gone out in public with a hoody and sunglasses in a frantic effort to conceal your identity because of fear of bumping into that one person you never ever want to see again? - the person you had a one night stand with? (hey, we've all been there..) Here is a short sonnet to relay the amusing, but painfully heart-wrenching moment when you see them again, and again and again...

 This may or may not have been taken from personal experience... All I can tell you is this: Sod's Law is real. REAL I tell you!


Walking to the shop to buy some bread,
Aimlessly I browse for something else -
Then I catch your eye, wishing I am dead.
A spectre from the past, echoing my movements through the shelves,
Adamantly shrugs through my broken soul.
I cannot breathe, your gaze so sour and sweet,
Wide and wild eyed, like a demon doe.
All I can do is ignore you and tweet:
'It's the third time today - for surely I'm cursed!'
- The cellophane bag slips from my wet palm -
My voice of Regret thinks this choice to have been worst,
Foolishly thinking: 'it's just one night, what's the harm?'
But Oh! how I could not have been more wrong -
For who knew what horrors could occur with socks on!

































Copyright © JRFB 2014

Friday, 29 June 2012

Discrimination



Throughout my entire life I have been brought up to perceive other Human beings as equals and that it is wrong  to judge by one’s shade of melanin, or by one’s size of feet and certainly not by one’s preferred Church clothes. Of course these are perhaps peculiar features which one could judge a person on, but I’d just like to point out that prejudging someone on their race is just as ridiculous are prejudging someone because they are wearing a rather unflattering brown jacket which does not indeed match their skin in any way and so they definitely do not have a sense of taste or style in any way.


It is very well for one to say ‘I do not judge, I love everyone’, because that is obviously heinous blasphemy to the laws of discrimination. Everybody hates someone. This is not meant to be an indirect attack on the conduct of which we, as humans live our lives, but is merely a statement relatable to us all, even if we fail to admit it. Everyone hates someone, be it because once someone asked to borrow your blue gel pen in pre-school and then never returned it, conjuring up a livid fire of hatred and causing you to make a personal vendetta against that person; or perhaps whilst in your public library, you simply saw someone who you preferred to show distain for, rather than gentle indifference. Indeed, distain can cause pleasure (for the conjuror anyway). Sometimes it is simply nice to not like a person; it shows variety within your range of emotions and human interaction.

However, I am in no way encouraging a rebellion within humanity, sparked by a few controversial words by a nomadic misanthropist who loathes her very existence and that of everyone around her. I am highlighting how it is perhaps worse to pretend that we all get along like bees in an beehive (exclude the episodes when the drone bees gang-rape the Queen and then brutally force her to lay eggs for the remainder of her short life…..) and that we should get off our do-gooder’s high-horse and just admit that there are some entities in Life that we cannot control: our abilities to hate.

Hopefully we are all mature enough not to actually show our hatred, but to at least show a sense of civility and false affections. Yes, here I am accusing humanity to be superficial and that behind every smile there is a pernicious abhorrence for just about anything that dares to show even a glimpse of nuisance. So what? Hate is hate, and like deathly fire, once sparked, it will intensify as time goes on, with only [holy] water to threaten its nefarious glow.


Disclaimer: After reading this prose you will perhaps hate me, the creator of such monstrous and disreputable thoughts. Good. I hate you too. Now get out of my yard.


Only Daria understands me...




Copyright © JRFB 2012